Overheard in clinic

PATIENT
Are doctors and nurses not allowed to wear makeup?

BLEARY-EYED RESIDENT
Huh?

PATIENT
All you gynecologists are women, but I never see anyone wearing makeup.

RESIDENT
I had to be at work at 4 this morning. If I had to wake up earlier to put on makeup, I’d kill myself.

PATIENT
Oh, honey! Here’s a dollar. Buy yourself a coffee.

Dolor

Just to balance out all the negativity I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks: I really do like my gyn residents.  They are supportive of each other and of the medical students, and although it’s busy busy busy, they do try to teach when they can.  Today I was in the OR most of the day with the R3, who is straight-up hilarious.  He can do spot-on imitations of the weirder attendings, and whenever you greet him, he makes Munch’s “The Scream” face and says, “So much paperwork! I have dolor from the paperwork!”

Me, I have dolor from studying for the shelf.  This time, we have an oral component in addition to the written.  Muchisimo dolor!

Team player

Nothing makes you feel like part of the team like having a resident say to your intern, “I don’t want med students here when I’m discussing this case.”  And then your intern says (very nicely), “Sorry, guys, can you just wait over to the side?”

Well, it’s only ten more days, of which two are didactics and one is the shelf.  Manageable.  And I’m really looking forward the next rotation.  Like, really.

Burnout

Third year is really starting to get to me.  I’m tired all the time.  I am irritable and snappish. My diet consists of the following: bagels with cream cheese, coffee, and red velvet cake.  My first week, I worked 98 hours in 7 days (I don’t get a single weekend off this month), excluding studying and reading up at home; stopped counting after that.  I don’t mind the long hours in themselves — I probably worked almost as much on neurology — but on this rotation, the patients don’t want students, the attendings don’t want students, the residents tolerate students only as scutmonkeys.

Mid-point feedback was a couple of days ago, but I heeded the advice of upperclassmen who told me that the course director wants ego-stroking, not feedback.  So I put on my biggest, fakest smile and said “Oh, yes, Dr. R., I’m having a great time on this rotation.  It’s challenging but everyone’s so interested in teaching and I’ve learned a lot, especially in clinic.”

I felt dirty but showered afterwards and ate more red velvet cake.

Babies everywhere!

C. and I were hanging out in OB Triage the other day.  It was slow.  We were bored.  There was just one patient, who was sent up from the ER with a chief complaint of constipation (seriously?), and we had to wait to see her until the nurse was done taking her vitals.

Then the nurse poked her head out the door.

“Um, we need a delivery kit in here, because … I can see the head.”