I should be happy. Yesterday I took my last shelf exam ever. I never have to go to the OR again. I have five days off before starting my sub-internship. By all accounts, I should be thrilled and enjoying this sudden free time.
Yesterday was fine — end-of-the-year class party (on a boat!), birthday dinner and drinks for a good friend. I got a good night’s sleep for the first time in weeks. My apartment is (reasonably) clean in preparation for my mother’s visit. So why do I feel so … blank?
I felt this way before: after taking the MCAT, after turning in my undergrad thesis, after hitting “submit” on Step 1. The sense that this major part of my life — Third Year — is suddenly and anticlimactically over, and I don’t know what to do with myself.