MS-2

WebQuack.com

I have to say, I love the proliferation of free Internet medical tools.  Makes my study time so much more effective, and my checking account so much less overdrawn.  Syllabi.  Dorland’s.  Wikipedia.

And WebMD.com

Some time ago (last year?) WebMD.com put up a “symptom checker,” where you enter your age range, gender, and click around a Sim to identify all your symptoms.  The wonderful thing about this tool is its hysterical reaction to any symptom ever.  If you “tire quickly,” you have hypothyroidism.  Feeling faint has nothing to do with having skipped breakfast and everything to do with your “heart rhythm disorder.”  Short stature?  Down syndrome, obviously.

Today, I decided to see if it could tell me why I’ve been feverish and malaise-y for the past few days.  So I answer a bunch of questions of the “how much is your temperature” and “fever made better with:” variety and wait for the Javascript to tell me what I’ve got.

Top results
Endocarditis
Malaria
Breast cancer (female)
Anthrax (inhaled)
Bubonic plague
Thalessemia
Multiple sclerosis

Right.  Thanks for the House-inspired differential, WebMD!  I’ll keep an eye out for rabid mosquitoes, spores in the mail, and black spots on my arms and legs.

(Or I could just say I have the flu.  But where would be the fun in that?)

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